The Life of a Queen
by CleverCat
Summary: Based on the movie "Mrs. Brown" about Queen Victoria and the scandal involving her and John Brown, a lowly servant from the Highlands. What really happened on that carriage ride home to Balmoral? My first one-shot.


Victoria was watching her manservant, John Brown speak from across the long table

Victoria was watching her manservant, John Brown speak from across the long table. Her expression like that of a wife watching her husband, she beamed at him as he told a story in his brother-in-law's house.

"Grant had the men by the throats against the stacks" he was saying. "And he looks at the smallest one and he says 'why are you poaching on royal land?!' and the little fellah looks up, completely terrified and says 'Because! We've come up in the world!"

For a split second, the Grants, sitting on either side of the queen, looked nervous. Then John and Victoria burst out in laughter. The sound of the queen's deep chuckle and John's contagious guffaw soon caught them and they laughed.

John got up and poured a generous amount of whiskey into all their glasses, beginning with Victoria's.

After supper, a slightly tipsy John helped his slightly tipsy queen into the horse and trap waiting outside the Grant's home. It was already growing dark and they were going to arrive at Balmoral much later than they had anticipated.

John flicked the reins and they were off. Victoria turned to wave at the Grants. Soon they were out of sight.

The pair of them sat in silence at first. John sitting at a respectful distance, eyes on the road before them. The queen was looking at the sky in all it's Highland vastness and shivered. It did not escape the notice of her devoted Mr. Brown.

"Come here." He said gruffly. There's a bit of a chill."

He was right. The sun had almost completely set and there was a cold breeze. But even so, Victoria hesitated.

"Come _here_ woman!" he said. He took the reins in one hand and put his arm around her shoulders to pull her towards him.

She allowed it.

And now that she was already there with his arm protectively around her, she decided that she quite liked it. Trying to move as casually as possible, she leaned into his coat and put her head on his shoulder.

"I was glad to see your sister and her family, John." She said.

"She's a good soul."

"Their boys have grown so much. Young John will look very much like you, I think."

"Aye, he won't be a lad much longer."

Silence fell comfortably upon them.

Victoria closed her eyes and snuggled into him, impetuously making herself at home.

"Perhaps I should not have allowed you to drink so much, Ma'am."

"Oh John, when will you learn that you do not _allow_ me to do anything?"

He chuckled. "I am beginning to realize, Majesty."

She opened her eyes and when he looked down he found her gazing up at him.

He blinked once and removed his arm from around her. Sitting up, she looked thoroughly disgruntled and turned away.

"Oh stop your pouting, you silly woman."

She was about to tell him that he would stop addressing her like that or suffer when he gently eased her frame back into his. He had tied the reins.

His other arm free now, he took one of her hands and held it, tracing her fingers and the lines in her palm. When he stopped suddenly, she grasped his hand before he could pull it away.

"Ma'am" he said quietly and extricated his hand from hers. A strand of hair had escaped from her bun and lay dark against her skin. He pushed it behind her ear reverently. But his hand remained there. He ran a finger down the side of his face.

"John…" her voice failed miserably to convey the warning she had meant to express.

"My wee little woman." He whispered. "My wee little queen."

It was one of those instants when a thousand things can run through one's mind at the same time. Victoria thought of Albert. Granted, she had thought of Albert every day since his death. That is, until John had come to court. A twinge of guilt accompanied this thought of her husband, but it was soon replaced with the conviction that Albert would not want her to be so very sad anymore, and that he and John had always been such good friends. She thought of Ponsonby and Dr. Jenner and what they would say if they could see her in such a compromising position and with a servant no less! But they couldn't see her. _They do not command be in any case. _She thought with relish. She was free here. Free to leave the queen behind and embrace the woman.

"John" she said again. But this time she leaned into his hand. He cupped her palm with as much reverence as before. There were tears in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him. Carefully, he kissed her forehead, murmuring to her. "I saw you from across the table, and I would give anything for you to look at me like that for the rest of my life."

Victoria's pale hands found his hair and she kissed his whiskery face until at last his lips met hers.

She broke away first and rested her head against his chest in defeat. He lifted her chin and waited until she met his eye. "I swear to you now." He said gravely. "That as long as there is breath in my body, no harm will ever befall you, my dearest friend…my Victoria."

She kissed him again.

When the horse and trap finally reached Balmoral, the sky was like pitch. A gaggle of ministers and household staff stood outside the main gate, looking anxious. Dr. Jenner broke from the crowd. "Your Majesty!" He cried in great excitement. "Thank goodness you're safe! I'll have a bath prepared. I recommend MacDonald's African Embrocation-"

John cut in sharply. "Oh pipe down man. The woman's fine!

The queen gathered her skirts and stood. "We stayed a little longer than expected with Mr. and Mrs. Grant. It was most agreeable."

Ponsonby, now standing by Jenner said, as calmly as he could, said, "We expected you to return by six."

"And now I am back" his sovereign said good-naturedly.

"We took a nip of whiskey." Said John as he leaped out of the trap.

"To keep out the cold." Victoria put in.

"Aye."

She smiled as he lifted her from the trap and put her down. As her ladies came forward, she turned back to him and said simply, "Thank you John."

He bowed and she turned to go, past Ponsonby and Jenner and all the staff.

John led the horse back to the stables and most of the group trickled after the queen. Jenner said to Ponsonby under his breath, "She's drunk!"

The other did not answer. Rather, he was staring hard at Mr. Brown's figure, retreating to the stables.

"A distinct flushing of the cheeks!" Jenner continued with obvious incredulity. "She was drunk, I tell you!"

"No she wasn't." Ponsonby replied quietly, still not looking at the doctor.

After a brief, stunned silence during which Jenner gaped at the chief minister, he found his voice. "Surely not…"

Ponsonby looked at him at long last. "Don't even think it."

Inside the queen's chambers, her ladies were helping her prepare for bed. Now in gown and cap, Victoria dismissed them with a word. She waited for several seconds after the door closed to collapse on the bed and cry. True happiness could never be hers. Thus is the life of all queens.


End file.
